Archive for Food For Thought
Is it better to try and fail than not try at all
Posted by: | CommentsIs it better to try and fail than not try at all
Many people spend many years doing a job that they never really wanted to do and at times can suffer deep regret at what they might have done or been. We have childhood dreams and ambitions about the person we would love to become and often vow as young people not to be like our parents and do a job that we don’t care for. Yet few people get to live out those dreams.
Of the people who do pluck up the courage, take the plunge and go after their heart’s desire many do not succeed at making a living from their new vocation. Not all writers will be best sellers, not all artists will have exhibitions at the Tate Gallery and not all musicians will have a hit record.
This begs the question: is it better to shoot for your dreams and fail than not try at all? After all, it is possible to spend a lot of time and money pursuing your passion only to end up very stressed, very tired and very broke.
If you have managed to pursue your dreams, even if it doesn’t work out, at least you have the knowledge that you gave it your best shot and if you died tomorrow you would have no regrets. On the other hand by doing nothing you will always wonder what might have been. A feeling of regret can build up over the years and can become debilitating leaving you fixated on what you should have done in the past. In its worst form this can manifest as illness, deep seated anger or addiction.
I am firmly of the opinion that it is good to find a way to pursue your dreams though it can be hard, especially initially, to create sufficient income from them. It is for this reason that I advocate not giving up completely your day job but to find a way to fit your dreams around it. For many years I have worked on and off as a part-time IT consultant and this has given me sufficient financial security but also enough time to pursue my writing and my passion for personal development work.
It may be possible to do something which gives you a flavour of your dream occupation which you can undertake alongside your day job. For example it may not be realistic for you to give up your job as a solicitor to become a music journalist but you may still be able to pursue your passion for music by writing a blog or by reviewing music via social media. There may also be activities that you can take up as a hobby which allow you to ‘scratch that itch’.
I know lots of creative people who have not got rich from their art, who often combine their pursuits with a day job and who sometimes think they are mad to keep trying but they all agree that they would be very unhappy if they had stifled their artistic urges to have a secure and ‘proper’ job. I definitely think it is better to try, even if you fail, than lead a life of regret.
Watch me talk about my book with Nick Williams
Posted by: | CommentsWatch Me Talk About my Book with Nick Williams
At last I made it onto that famous sofa – no, not This Morning with Phil and Holly – the Nick Williams interview sofa. Watch me talk with Nick about my new book Don’t Give Up Your Day Job.
For more info and to buy the book go to www.DontGiveUpYourDayJob.co.uk
How To Achieve Your Long Term Goals
Posted by: | CommentsHow To Achieve Your Long Term Goals
Recently I had the great pleasure of achieving some goals that have been on my list for many years. I am now a published author and a few weeks ago I launched my book at the Piccadilly branch of Waterstones in London, which was another dream come true.
If I were to answer the question of what does it take to achieve a long held dream then I would have to say: persistence. Persistence with a capital P !
I looked up persistence in the dictionary and the definition of the verb ‘to persist’ is: to continue steadfastly or obstinately, in spite of opposition or warning; to persevere; to last, to endure. In other words, when the going gets tough, the tough keep going!
Forget New Years resolutions – make determinations instead
Posted by: | CommentsForget New Years Resolutions – Make Determinations Instead
It is that time of year again when we vow to stop smoking, lose weight, go to the gym and never consume chocolate or alcohol or carbs ever again. And how miserable to we feel making those resolutions? And how long do they last? Exactly!
How about making determinations instead? Determinations allow you look ahead and feel positive and they give you something much more constructive to aim towards. Maybe this is the year when you will make a career change, start a business or learn to dance the Argentinean tango! Doesn’t that make you feel a lot more excited? Now you can offset the winter gloom and feel energized as you take those initial fledgling steps towards your goals.
It is a good idea to write down your determinations. Not only does putting them on paper seem to increase your commitment to taking action towards them but it also helps at times when your activity levels start to flag. It is natural that you will have bursts of enthusiasm for your determinations and times when they seem to go by the wayside. By writing them down you can return to them at any point throughout the year and start to take constructive action towards them again.
Once you have decided what you want for the year (and written it down) think of three simple things you can do towards them this week. Now do those things and you are on your way!
How to stop being stressed when you have too much going on
Posted by: | CommentsHow to Stop Being Stressed When You Have Too Much Going On
For the last few months my life has been very busy. I have been trying to sell my London flat, publish a book, launch it and do all the other things required by my daily life. Not knowing when I’m going to move has also added the difficult dimension of not being able to make solid plans for things like holidays or ensuring that my work commitments fit with the geography of my new home. Throughout this time I have often felt stressed and overwhelmed.
There is a silver lining in every cloud and in spite of this stress I have come up with a time management method that has proved very effective. Every Sunday I give a few minutes thought to the week ahead and I decide upon three things that I would like to achieve that week. Examples of these are: decide on a web designer for the website for my book, contact solicitor about changes to the lease of the flat and find out how one of my friends launched her book. This week my goals are to sort out the book launch evening, see if it is possible to establish a timetable for completing on my flat sale and starting thinking about PR for the book.
When the going gets tough – have fun!
Posted by: | CommentsWhen the Going Gets Touch – Have Fun!
On and off I suffer from back pain and there have been many moments this year when I have felt quite crippled purely from stiff muscles in my lower back. In the past two months I have been having Bowen therapy treatment and thankfully these problems have eased in a miraculous way.
However, over the past few days I felt a little of the stiffness creeping back. In many ways I’m not surprised as it has been a stressful time caused mainly by the vendor of my London flat changing his mind on his proposed purchase and thus scuppering my plans to buy a new house and set up home with my partner!
Believe You Can Change
Posted by: | CommentsBelieve You Can Change
In the personal development world you will find much talk of beliefs. Beliefs drive what we think we can or can’t do. Many of them are positive – we know what we are good at or what we find easy; others are negative in that we believe we are not good at something or can’t do certain activities maybe because we are too old, too young, not experienced enough or have too much experience. Negative beliefs come with an excuse of why we are just not very good at those activities.
However, just because we believe something to be true doesn’t mean that it actually is and it doesn’t always have to remain that way for ever. One way to change these negative thought patterns is to flip the “I can’t” to a more positive statement. Over time if we persist with catching our negative thoughts and changing them to something positive then this will encourage us to take action towards making that positive statement actually come true.
How To Overcome Obstacles
Posted by: | CommentsHow To Overcome Obstacles
When life is throwing one challenge after another at you how can you keep moving forward and win through each day?
The key words here are ‘each day’. In challenging times, if you are facing illness, stress at work or money problems, you can determine each morning to have some kind of victory, no matter how small. You don’t have to be Hercules, make all your problems go away or solve the woes of the world; but if you can just generate and recognise one small success then your day will have been valuable and you will feel that you are gradually winning with your battles.
Sex And The City 1998 – 2010
Posted by: | CommentsI saw the latest Sex And The City movie a few days ago. My verdict: not impressed! I don’t want to get into a rant of how bad I thought it was (bearing in mind that I am a huge SATC fan and loved the last movie) but my main exclamation at the end of the film was: “What on earth were they thinking?!”
Then last night, after I arrived home from the theatre, I was doing a spot of light channel flicking on the telly and came across the very first episode of the TV series. 1998 seems a very long time ago. I was 32 at the time, the same age as Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte, and as a single girl living in Central London some aspects of my life were not dissimilar to theirs.
My first thought when casting my mind back to 1998 was that although I had enjoyed an exciting, high octane lifestyle I was quite often depressed about the fact that I was single. For me 1998 was the year of a significant heart break brought about by unrequited love.
Back then I used to obsess about the factors that made me unhappy on a constant basis for weeks or months on end. When I look at my life today, I don’t do that anymore. If something bothers me now it only lasts for a day or two and then I get back on an even keel. I think that over the years I have learned to be happy as I am and I enjoy a much deeper level of self acceptance. That has, at last, brought the most wonderful man in my life and I have a much more fulfilling working life now. Ironically when we constantly obsess about what we don’t have we seem to prevent those desires from entering our lives.
Quit moaning and increase your income
Posted by: | CommentsYesterday my Mum sent me an email containing the following story. I don’t know who it is from but it is very good and I wanted to share it:
Ducks Quack – Eagles Soar
No one can make you serve customers well….that’s because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.
He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .
He handed my friend a laminated card and said: ‘I’m Wally, your driver. While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.’
Taken aback, Harvey read the card.. It said: Wally’s Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment…
This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, ‘Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.’ My friend said jokingly, ‘No, I’d prefer a soft drink.’ Wally smiled and said, ‘No problem.. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice…’ Almost stuttering, Harvey said, ‘I’ll take a Diet Coke.’
Handing him his drink, Wally said, ‘If you’d like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.’
As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, ‘These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you’d like to listen to the radio.’
And as if that weren’t enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he’d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.
‘Tell me, Wally,’ my amazed friend asked the driver, ‘have you always served customers like this?’
Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. ‘No, not always.. In fact, it’s only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.
He had just written a book called You’ll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, ‘Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don’t be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.’
‘That hit me right between the eyes,’ said Wally. ‘Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.’
‘I take it that has paid off for you,’ Harvey said.
‘It sure has,’ Wally replied. ‘My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don’t sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can’t pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.’
Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I’ve probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn’t do any of what I was suggesting.
Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you… The ball is in our hands! Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.
